Why  to Kay?
A decade ago, we know all of your grandparents waited until 31 Dec 99 to seriously consider any potential problems they may have had with the Millennium Bug date problems.  And afterward, knowing that nothing really happened, they were all very pleased with themselves. 

Please remember, we told them so.  Yup, we've been around that long, ..and more.

The truth is that most did not have any problems what-so-ever with basic Windows based operating system PC's.  The Y2K problems heard most about were in network systems and mostly Cobol and Fortran based software.  To the children in the crowd, that's fossilized old program code.


Fat Tablets Corruptis

Datum Drivus 

Gamis Infestius

Blackit Outus 

Monstross Obliteras

Config Monkesis

Voltis Spikus 

Double Ringed
Loopus Continuous
The following is still entertaining, presented here for your enjoyment.

VW Millennium Bug

*Millennium a new non corrosive, non magnetic metal used exclusively in computers, software discs, CD's, DVD's and other information technologies.  This extremely valuable mineral is very difficult to mine and refine (so difficult, no one has ever found any).  Get in on the bottom floor of the new age by buying into a new Millennium mine.  It's an investment of a lifetime. 

We list the following to remind you how to remedy those minor date functions that may still come up in various ops systems you may still have working:
1.  Windows programs are mostly Y2K compatible, with this change:
- date formats should be altered to show all four digits in the date.

- In other words, configure your dates to show 
MM / DD / YYYY  versus  MM / DD / YY
(where MM is month, DD is day and YY, YYYY is year).

* For those of us who use the standard  international date formats 
change the above to DD / MM / YYYY.

2.  Other changes you need to understand is for use of date functions in programs like Lotus123 and Excel.
In Lotus, a date is coded in a spreadsheet cell with   @DATE(YY,MM,DD)   For dates 2000 and above, this format should be changed to  @DATE(YYYY,MM,DD). 

Alternately, In Lotus123 v4.0 @DATE(99,MM,DD) represents 1999, 
for the year 2000 use @DATE(100,MM,DD), 
for the year 2001 use @DATE(101,MM,DD), etc., 
meaning simply that the date for any year +2000 is @DATE(1YY,MM,DD) or the two digit year with a "1" in front. 

Similiar types of date function changes should work with most Windows programs. 
This is simply a matter of instruction, not hardware or software.

3.  Some MicroSoft files do need replacement. 

For WFW3.11 or Win3.1  no update needed (Winfile.exe  works OK).

The original Windows 95 File Manager  (Winfile.exe), displays a date beyond 2000 as (dd/mm/:0)  Best and easiest solution is to copy any Win98 version of WINFILE.EXE (dtd 11/05/98 or newer)  into your Win95 C:\WINDOWS directory.  Everything works fine.

(Official MS Win95 update primarily forces Internet Explorer into your system. It  includes significantly more file changes than the WFW site, most of which have nothing to do with year 2000 problems.)
Windows 98 Winfile.exe displays dates correctly as dd/mm/00.

Windows NT, 2000, XP and so forth do whatever they want, especially when set to update from the US Naval Observatory.

We haven't got a clue what Mac Systems might do, but they seem to work, well, constantly.

For more information about how Microsoft products are affected by year 2000 (Y2K) issues, please see the following Microsoft World Wide Web site:

Just for your information, 

We are spreading the rumor that the real Millennium Bug problem is a secret miniature computer singularity built into every PC manufactured.  This singularity is a highly condensed point of such concentrated gravitational attraction that everything close gets sucked into it (a mini Black Hole). This singularity will become active at the last stroke of PC time clocks on 31 December of some undisclosed year 2xxx in the near future.  So don't worry about date problems with Y2K.  Just expect that at the stoke of some year end during the new millennium, every PC in existence is going to disappear instantaneously into its own personal computer Black Hole.  All your systems will vanish.  ...We're also going to charge 5¢ for every email, and long distance tolls on internet connections cross country.  Also, could you be interested in personal purchase of a toll bridge in New York? 

By the way, if your system is turned off over New Year's weekend, stand well back from your machine when you turn it on for the first time in January, so that you don't get sucked in too.

...Now, when you walk into work on any 2nd of January, just think how happy you will be to see all your PC's and Laptops really still there where you left them, and all working perfectly well as on 31 December.  Be happy,  ...If they ARE missing, call the cops.  
Mind over Millennium
welcome to the 21st Centruy
...looking forward to the next
Bruce A. Jackim, President, 
GeoData Systems Management Inc., Cleveland, OH  USA

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Bug art derived from uncopyrighted graphic by Onan Corp., Minneapolis, MN used with permission.