Computers Company Information
Virus Alert Information
Computer Viruses happen
They are created by bored, destructive, amoral individuals with the intellectual capacity of a raw, moldy, garden pea dried in the sun for a decade and then crushed underfoot.  These individual's products are even less useful, and they will never produce viable self supporting biological offspring. 

We take the position that any virus is to be immediately and completely eradicated upon detection.  We strongly encourage dissemination of any and all information by which to detect and destroy any virus, without cost to anyone unfortunate enough to have been infected.  Consequently, whenever a genuine virus is known to be on the loose, we email broadcast to our friends, clients and business associates whatever anti-virus information we have available. 

In a similar venue, we also check out reports of new viruses to debunk virus alert Hoaxes.  While a false alert is not in itself destructive, it does result in both time being wasted and can contribute to the well known "boy who cried Wolf" problem. 

For further information on both actual Viruses and Virus Hoaxes, please visit the following URL's:
 

Symantec Anti-virus research center 
(quickly overwhelmed during crisis, try others for info):
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/vinfodb.html

Mc Affee Antivirus (Updates available):
http://www.nai.com

IBM Virus Alerts
http://www.ibm.com/link/www.av.ibm.com.html

MicroSoft Virus Search
(mainly just about MS related viruses)
http://search.microsoft.com/us/

ZDNet UK:
http://news.zdnet.co.uk/

ZDNet News:
http://www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/news/

CNN Tech News:
http://www.cnn.com/TECH/

 
For your intellectual enjoyment.
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The following are descriptions of new possible viruses. 
None of these are known to be actual computer viruses at this time:
(and we hope never will be)
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PAUL REVERE VIRUS This revolutionary virus does not horse around, it warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:\
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS Not really a "virus" but an electronic micro-organism.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS Your program is right where you expect it to be, but your data is out across the internet doing who knows what.
TEXAS VIRUS Claims it is the biggest file on your system.
ALASKA VIRUS It IS the biggest file on your system, but nobody notices.
FREUDIAN VIRUS Your computer becomes obsessed with its motherboard.
SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS Not to be messed with, terminates your programs and stays resident, it always comes back.
SIMPSON VIRUS Everyone thinks it's guilty of trashing your system, even though its been proven otherwise.
OPRAH VIRUS Your 200MB files suddenly shrink to 80MB, and then slowly expand back to 200MB.
HOFFA VIRUS Your programs can never be found again.
ELVIS VIRUS Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
AT&T VIRUS Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
THE MCI VIRUS Every 60 seconds it tells you that you're getting too many messages from the AT&T virus.
SPRINT VIRUS Blanks out your video display without warning at the drop of a pin.
MOBILE PHONE VIRUS Most dangerous when you drop your phone into your lap.  It converts your cellular into a sterilization device. First indication of infection is when all your friends are grandparents and you realize you've never had any children.  Purportedly also rots your brain.  One possible early indication, particularly if you own an SUV:  Hands Free driving (no hands on steering wheel).
PBS VIRUS Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ONLINE PROGRAMS VIRUS Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
MICROSNUFT VIRUS Unnecessarily complicated and bulky, it auto incorporates all program code into itself regardless of who wrote it and claims it as its own, then changes your data file formats so that they can be read by nothing but the most recent version of the virus.
NIKE VIRUS Everyone knows about it, everyone has it, but it has no real content expect for the phrase "..just do it", displays its name on your monitor and on everything you print out.
SEARS VIRUS Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks, you discover it brings back 3% of every file deleted.
TURNER MGM VIRUS Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
TRUMP MACRO VIRUS In and out of your biggest programs, adds lots of flashy effects and functions, but has trouble staying connected for long periods.
PEROT VIRUS Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.
VENTURA VIRUS Incredibly robust and straightforward, more like a utility to clean out unnecessary code and reclaim wasted space, but nobody takes it seriously (formerly part of the PEROT VIRUS).
CUOMO VIRUS It doesn't run.
GORE VIRUS Invented with the internet 
EMPTY SUIT VIRUS All hype, no substance, spreads nationwide every four years during elections, effects are minimal but permanent
QUAYLE VIRUS Prevents your system from producing subdirectories without formatted protocal recognition, handshake, station identification and permanent logon to a binary network.
KWAILE VIRUS 
(aka POTATOE VIRUS)
Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just can't figyour out watt.
BUCHANAN VIRUS Your system works fine, but complains loudly about other viruses.
POWELL VIRUS Makes its presence known, then doesn't do anything.
HILLARY VIRUS Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory.
DOLE VIRUS Powerful DOS 3.1 system virus, can't damage modern systems.
FORBES VIRUS All files are reported as the same size, but you know they really aren't.
OLLIE VIRUS It says its in control when it really isn't, causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
BUSH VIRUS It boldly displays READ MY DOCS, NO NEW FILES, then it turns all the other viruses into hidden files and tells your system nothing ever happened (related to OLLIE VIRUS).
GW BUSH VIRUS All hype, no substance (doesn't really qualify as a VIRUS, just a residual from the above).
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS Possibly harmless, makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it because it actually dates back to Hitler's Third Reich.
REALTY CHECK VIRUS Continuously warns you of serious operating system infections that are purely fictitious.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. Each message says that the lockup is caused by the other side.
BUREAUCRAT VIRUS Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
GALLUP VIRUS Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus 3.5 percent margin of error)
RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS Won't allow you to delete a temporary file. If you attempt to erase the file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and then sends you a bill for $4,500.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy after being infected by all of the above.

If you throw a brick into a pig pen, the one that squeals is the one you hit. Our apologies to anyone who may be audible.
It is not our purpose to annoy, belittle or offend anyone. 
The above are not specifically directed at any person, or persons, nor presented to slander, or for detrimental purposes. 
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Should anyone have additional Virus names and descriptions to offer, suggestions may be emailed for consideration. 
We reserve the right to edit any suggestions for any reason.  Any submissions shall become the property of GeoData.
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For further information,  Email Email (Info) or Call 1-440-888-4749 (M-F 9-5ET)
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